Enonai felt the weight of his upper body pressing her, though lightly. She felt his shoulder pinned against her cheek and neck and memory within her lurched forward. It echoed outwardly as her whole body shivered beneath him. Her breath caught in her throat as she gasped aloud, chest rising and falling, just to draw any air at all. Her hand grasped at his shoulder and pushed at him.

Akonha raised up and searched her face. He saw the fear flashing across it. Her usually warm brown eyes were wide and frightened. She frantically looked over his face then shook her head. If she'd had voice to speak it she would have apologized but instead she bit her lower lip trying to stop its quivering. His hand came up to stroke her hair then his thumb brushed across her cheek. "Ssshhh" He softly hissed then leaned to kiss her cheek. He whispered against the corner of her mouth, "It's only me."

She reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, drawing herself up to him, holding on. Perhaps it would stop her shaking. She nodded against his shoulder and mumbled between short bursts of breath. "Yes... only you... and me." And no ghosts, she prayed. She had to send the spectre away. This would not do, but she could not stop shaking. How much like the Coat's torture would it be with Akonha? How could she not allow her husband to have her? Yet how could she abide it if she could not block the memory?

He sighed across her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her and settled them onto the bedding. He held her tightly then reached over her to find the edge of her blanket and cover them both. If only he could still her fears. Her body shivering against him tugged heavily at his heart. He swallowed against his dry mouth and whispered to her in as smooth and comforting a voice as he could manage. "My Enonai, you owe me nothing."

In her silence, Akonha shifted slightly to lay on his back and let her drape over him. Again her head lay upon his shoulder. He continued to rub her back in a steady gentle rhythm. His other hand caught hers and brought it to his lips for a light kiss then rested it over his pounding heart. He was aching to have her but not this way, not if she was afraid of him.

He lay his cheek against her forehead and looked up at the moon as it sat proudly in the midnight sky. "First of many nights. A lifetime of them. I will keep you safe." He thought to add 'even from me' but they would find some way around this. For tonight, they should just sleep, he thought, yes, if only he could convince his body now.

Akonha tried to quiet his thumping heart and coarse breathing. He tried to think of something else, anything to distract him, but he was much too aware of her soft body wrapped along his. He could feel her heartbeat and the swells of her breasts pressed against him. Her soft tummy and the mound between her legs warmed his hip. Her thigh was draped over his, so close to touching his continued stiffness. The more he tried to push all of this from his mind, the more urgent his need became. He swallowed hard and forced a deep breath. He had to give her whatever time she needed but his body was tensed, ready. Perhaps he should leave their bed and let her sleep, even if he could not.

Enonai chewed on her lip. She felt his restlessness while she fought all the conflicting images and emotions tumbling through her own mind. She scarcely breathed, lying against his warmth, so enjoying the comfort of him but grateful that he did not press her. Still, she could not simply let it go and was nowhere near sleeping. She rushed through ideas, searching for what she needed to at least soften her imposing fear.

Just as Enonai thought of a possible help, Akonha was about to tell her he had to go for a bit. They both started to speak at once then smiled to each other but the smiles faded rather quickly. Enonai put her fingers to his lips and spoke first. "Perhaps..." Her voice was shaking, as was her hand against his face. Her brow was furrowed, her eyes searching as he gazed at her, wondering. "Perhaps if you could not do as h-he did?" She shook her head. How could she explain? Her fingers traced along his lips. "If I could always see your face, the face of whom I love, so I can know..."

He smiled weakly beneath her fingers. Hope. "Yes. Perhaps." His hand came up, fingers curling around hers. "For I cannot bear to see you so fearful..." His throat was so tight he could barely force the words through it. "...especially of me."

Her face was hot. Again her breath was halting. Part of her wanted to roll away, to curl up in her blanket and think on it no more, but her Love was here, with her. Her heart begged to be as close to him as possible, even closer. Beneath the fear was longing, an ache like none other. "Perhaps..." She began again. "Perhaps once I know you."

Akonha nodded and looked down at their hands clasped together. So, he thought, he would take his walk after all and she would be able to sleep and they would devise some way another night, after they had come to know each other better.

Enonai saw his resignation and hurriedly clarified what she'd said. "No, Akonha, I mean, once I have... known you. After once h-having the feel of you, your touch, your love--" Her eyes closed as she swallowed hard then slowly they drifted open to him again. "...to know it is not what I fear." She couldn't have any idea of what differences there might be but she had to trust him. If not him, there would never be another.

Akonha released her hand and slipped his arm out from beneath her head. She pulled her hands to her chest as she lay on her back again. She was sure he was preparing to leave their bed. She gathered up the edge of the blanket in her fingers.

Instead of leaving, he propped himself on one elbow and looked down upon her face. Her beauty glowed softly with the moon's light. Akonha locked her gaze with his. His aching for her throbbed against his thigh but he would take her no faster and no farther than she had wish to go. His voice was quiet and husky. "Then do not take your eyes from me, my love, and know you need never fear me."

( Continued Page 13 or back)